Astagfirullah...70 Persen Masalah Rumah Tangga Akibat Gagal Komunikasi

KODE IKLAN ADSENSE TENGAH ARTIKEL (336X280)

Awalnya bercakap-cakap biasa dengan pasangan, akhirnya malah berujung pertengkaran. Anda pernah mengalami hal yang tak mengenakkan tersebut? Hati-hati, jika pertengkaran tersulut, tak jarang kata-kata buruk pun keluar dan akan sangat menyakitkan untuk diingat.

Konselor dan trainer Rumah Keluarga Indonesia (RKI) yang juga penulis buku seri Wonderful Family, Cahyadi Takariawan, S.Si, Apt,mengungkapkan bahwa 70% persoalan suami istri dipicu oleh kegagalan komunikasi.

Antisipasi Perbedaan Sejak Awal

Jika komunikasi yang sehat adalah salah satu kunci kebahagiaan rumah tangga, maka pertengkaran menjadi unsur yang paling merusak hubungan. Mengapa? Pertengkaran kerap timbul ketika pasangan sering merasakan ketidakcocokan atau tidak sekufu satu sama lain.

Apa itu sekufu? Dalam Islam, kufu adalah kesepadanan. Walau tidak termasuk dalam rukun nikah, tapi ia dipandang perlu karena bisa menumbuhkan keharmonisan pernikahan. Idealnya, masalah sekufu sudah melalui pertimbangan yang masak sejak awal menikah. Karena jika ini diabaikan, ia bisa berpotensi menghambat komunikasi pasutri di kemudian hari. Faktor kekufuan ini antara lain, perbedaan tingkat intelegensi dan pendidikan, jauhnya perbedaan usia, perbedaan latar belakang satus sosial, dan yang paling penting adalah perbedaan prinsip hidup dan beragama.

Hikmahnya, menurut Cahyadi, “Komunikasi menjadi lebih terbuka dan lancar jika pasangan sekufu. Bicara lebih nyambung, tanpa sekat, dan tanpa beban ‘kelas’.”

Kecuali perbedaan masalah agama yang tak bisa ditolerir dalam Islam, banyak pasangan yang tetap melangsungkan pernikahan walau tidak sekufu. Alasan cinta, menikah karena ibadah atau dakwah dan lainnya, kerap meneguhkan mereka memasuki jenjang pernikahan di tengah perbedaan. Namun keteguhan ini, jika tidak diiringi dengan antisipasi komitmen dan komunikasi yang sehat sejak awal, maka perlahan akan membuat pernikahan rapuh.

Memang tak ada rumah tangga yang bebas dari pertengkaran. Karenanya seiring pernikahan, kesepadanan itu tetap harus dicari, ditumbuhkan, dan ditemukan, bahkan setelah berpuluh tahun membina rumah tangga.

Bersama Hindari Badai

Kehidupan manusia yang dinamis dan zaman yang terus berubah tak ayal mengubah kehidupan seseorang. Gaya hidup, pola pikir, kepentingan, orientasi pun bisa berubah. Maka tidak heran, belasan tahun menikah baru timbul ketidakcocokan. Jika pernikahan tidak dilandasi dasar yang kokoh seperti komitmen ibadah dalam mempertahankan rumah tangga, maka perubahan-perubahan yang terjadi tadi akan menjadi badai tak berkesudahan bagi pernikahan. Bagaimana menghadapi badai dalam relasi suami istri ini?

Tuntutan ekonomi

Rumah tangga yang tak ditopang dengan nafkah yang memadai sangat mungkin goncang. Masalah ekonomi menjadi pemicu terbesar kasus perceraian di banyak daerah di Indonesia.

Menyikapinya, Cahyadi mengatakan bahwa istri berhak meminta nafkah dari suami karena nafkah memang menjadi kewajiban suami. “Namun jika suami tidak mampu mencari nafkah disebabkan udzur syar'i misal sakit parah atau kendala manusiawi seperti dipenjara, tentu istri tidak patut menuntut kepada suami,” jelas trainer dan Konselor Jogja Family Center (JFC) ini. Agar bisa melalui badai bersama, dibutuhkan sikap keterbukaan dan kebersamaan dalam mencari solusi. Misalnya dengan istri ikut bekerja atau berwirausaha, bersama menguatkan lagi ibadah kepada Allah, seraya tetap saling menghargai satu sama lain.

Ujian kesetiaan dan cemburu

Era media sosial yang memudahkan seseorang terhubung dengan sosok masa lalu juga teman-teman baru, ditambah peningkatan taraf hidup, membuat kesetiaan dan perselingkuhan menjadi ujian baru bagi rumah tangga kini. Namun tak bisa dianggap tidak setia, menurut Cahyadi, sepanjang proses yang dilakukan sesuai dengan tuntunan Allah dan Rasul-Nya. “Namun jika kita punya bukti bahwa pasangan selingkuh, wajib diingatkan dan ditegur dengan cara yang baik, jangan dibiarkan karena itu pelanggaran,” tegasnya.

Khusus bagi yang rentan terserang cemburu, pahami bahwa pasutri memang harus mempunyai rasa cemburu, namun mestiproporsional. Rasulullah saw pun melarang cemburu yang berlebihan. Aisyah berkata, “Wahai Rasulullah, cukup bagimu Shafiyyah, dia itu begini dan begitu (pendek).” Rasulullah menjawab, “Sungguh engkau telah mengucapkan satu kata, yang seandainya dicampur dengan air laut, niscaya akan dapat mencemarinya.” (HR Abu Dawud).

Kehidupan seks yang tak membahagiakan

Walau banyak yang lebih penting dari aktivitas seks dalam relasi pasutri, namun mengabaikannya bisa mengurangi kasih sayang. “Seks harus bisa dinikmati bersama oleh pasangan suami istri, maka perlu keterbukaan jika ada masalah dalam hal ini,” saran Cahyadi. Karena, lanjutnya, jika hasrat seksual tidak terpenuhi, akan memicu ketegangan jiwa. Dampaknya bisa luas, lebih emosional, bersifat labil, mudah tersinggung, sulit konsentrasi, dan yang lebih membahayakan lagi, jika tergoda untuk menyalurkan hasrat secara menyimpang.

Jangan Bertengkar

Ujung dari komunikasi yang sehat adalah sedikitnya perselisihan atau pertengkaran, ini yang harus dicapai agar pernikahan sehat. Seringnya konflik bukan saja menyakiti perasaan, tapi juga memperburuk hubungan. Diskusikan masalah yang timbul dengan terbuka, tanpa bertengkar atau menyulut konflik.

Mengumbar kemarahan dengan perang terbuka bisa memadamkan cinta. Sedangkan terbiasa menekan perasaan untuk menghindari perselisihan juga tidak sehat, sebab akan membuat cinta kasih hambar karena selalu tertekan. Carilah kesimbangan di antara keduanya, kapan sesuatu harus diungkapkan dan kapan harus dilupakan, bukan dipendam. Keberhasilan pasutri mengelola ego dan emosi menjadi cara efektif untuk menjaga komunikasi sehingga rumah tangga aman dari pertengkaran.

Mengejutkan...!!! Ternyata Golongan Darah Kita Memiliki Hubungan Erat dengan Tingkat Kesehatan Kita!

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10 Easy Steps to Succeed in Your Online Classes

Congratulations Youve made up our minds to pursue your upper schooling, and doing so online is how to pass if you have an interest in a versatile, studentcentered educating manner. Studying online permits you to pursue different pursuits and attend to different responsibilities whilst nonetheless operating your method towards some extent. However, it will now and again imply that its clean to get distracted. Here are 10 clean steps to verify luck on your online categories.

Connect together with your instructors once conceivable. Even in case you are doing smartly within the category, its extraordinarily vital to increase a rapport together with your trainer. When you do that early on, you temporarily understand what the priorities are within the route, what expectancies the professor has of you and youre going to be motivated to prevail, surer of whats forward and higher ready to do smartly with the impending subject material.

Valuable questions to invite your trainer come with the next

How versatile are you with time limits How versatile are you with grownup freshmen What applied sciences do you employ within the route How to be had are you through e mail and different sorts of verbal exchange How do you put up an internet neighborhood and what are the expectancies for participation in it In addition, since instructors are to be had to lend a hand all over the classes, its all the time just right to have had private touch with the trainer early on. This method, when you wish to have lend a hand, its more straightforward to achieve out and get the help you wish to have.

Confirm the technical necessities of the route. Online categories can also be very advisable for college kids with busy schedules, however provided that they are able to simply get right of entry to the fabrics. It is vital to obviously perceive what the technical necessities are. So, ahead of the route begins or as quickly thereafter as conceivable, youll want to test that your pc will paintings with the entire online equipment, and that you understand how to navigate them. This will be sure that you dont must spend time all the way through the route attempting to determine the generation.

three. Create a time table and stick with it. Quality online instructors create classes which might be clean to navigate and feature transparent expectancies. Having that roughly easytodealwith framework in position will make learning and succeeding that a lot more straightforward. However, although the framework and necessities of your category arent as transparent, youll create a time table and construction, which is able to very much fortify your probabilities of luck within the route. Using equipment equivalent to Google Calendar is a good way to start out. Knowing how your weeks and months glance and scheduling blocks of analysis time for each and every activity or module will will let you stick with a time table.

four. Ask questionsall the time. When you dont perceive, ask questions. When you do perceive, ask additional questions. Instructors recognize scholars who take part, and if theres a participation or dialogue part a part of the grade, then asking high quality questions is helping guarantee your grade on this space. Even if there isnt a participation part, its all the time helpful to invite inquiries to remember to perceive the fabric and are transparent on what is needed of you.

five. Be arrangedand keep arranged. Students whore taking conventional, campusbased classes most often have a constant time table to observe each and every week, through which study room instruction is adopted through assignments out of doors the category. However, for online classes, scholars will have to search out their very own techniques to stick on most sensible in their paintings. It is crucial that you just be arranged from the start of the semester with the intention to achieve success in an internet route. For instance mark task due dates on your calendar, discover a submitting machine for each online subject material and bodily subject material that is helping you stay monitor of the whole lot simply, and shed light on find out about schedules that duvet sections of the route one by one so youve got an arranged tactic to protecting the semesters subject material as you pass alongside.

Have a blank, quiet, and constant workspace. One factor online and inclass classes have in not unusual is that scholars all the time want a spot to review or whole assignments this is blank, quiet, and constant. You can select the place that is for youwhether or not its at a espresso store, a college library, a devoted place of business, or at house. Wherever you select to review and whole assignments, you must make it a constant location that doesnt have out of doors distractions. It is basically key that where is quiet and lets you focal point in your paintings with out distractions.
Do no longer procrastinate. Successful distance freshmen hardly procrastinate. They dont do away with assignments or wait till the final second to write down their papers. Successful online scholars experience freedoms that come with operating at their very own tempo and the facility to finish their paintings in as a lot time because it takes them. On the opposite hand, they know that finishing their assignments is best performed early and on time cramming merely doesnt paintings, and it doesnt will let you retain knowledge longterm. Get began early on getting a success.

eight. Work in your studying comprehension. Successful distance freshmen generally tend to have just right studying comprehension abilities. Most conventional, campusbased scholars concentrate to lectures and take notes, and a few online classes additionally require this. However, the vast majority of distance freshmen are anticipated to grasp subject material thru a large amount of studying. Although far finding out classes be offering video recordings and audio clips, maximum systems require scholars to hide and grasp a considerable amount of written knowledge. If it is a problem for you, it could be very useful to first sign up in a studying comprehension route there are lots of assets online that will help you do that. This ability by myself could make a huge distinction on your luck.

nine. Establish and admire routines that be just right for you. If, for instance, youre employed best within the morning or in brief bursts, then set find out about routines that can help you find out about within the prelunch hours when your mind is contemporary. If, then again, you do best through learning at evening or at the weekends when youll devote nightowl hours or longer blocks in your learning, then make it some degree to take action. Consider how and whilst you paintings best, and enforce a find out about plan that respects the routines that be just right for you.

Connect together with your friends. Establishing sturdy connections with friends and professors is a very powerful facet of tutorial luck, in addition to skilled development. One of essentially the most rewarding reports in schooling is finding out thru collaboration. Forming significant relationships together with your friends and professors can can help you be told extra, keep motivated, and feature an outlet to specific your personal working out of subject material. So, keep attached thru message forums, chat rooms, e mail, and different digital assets. And take note lots of the other people you meet in faculty shall be conceivable process assets down the road so determine connections and keep in contact

Florida National University gives a wealth of tutorial and professional online classes. Check out the entire choicesyour long run is ready